Gratitude
Day 20Just So Thankful
It’s all about you
I’m relaxed. I’m easy.
As I am driving back from Mossman to Cairns, I am quite deliberately taking my time. I have only three things planned for the day, they shouldn’t take long, it wasn’t far to go and I have made an earlyish start.
Moya started work at 8am, so I was on the road by ten to-
Unlike the previous day, which was overcast and grey for the most part, with regular rain, today started with sunshine and scattered clouds. Albeit impressive clouds. None of your Simpsons fluffy pillow stuff.
Anyway, the speed limit’s 100, I’m doing 80. It’s 80, I’m doing 70. This gives me a relaxed outlook and my mind is able to engage in appreciation of my surroundings.
The drive between Cairns and Mossman is one of the nicest drives I have ever made in Australia. Continual beach and ocean vistas, some of them elevated, some of them at sea level.
I cruised past, Pebbly Beach, Thala Beach, Turtle Cove and I began to think about you. That smile spread slowly across my face as I did so and I found myself feeling immense gratitude for whatever circumstances allowed me to find you, or conspired to bring us together. I was thankful for being free to love again. I was thankful for loving you. And I was so very thankful that you love me.
It had to be now now
So I stopped at this café to get it down now now. (Broke my fast with a chai latté, of course) You can see my computer on the table in the photo. I felt the need to let you know right away. I thought of phoning you to tell you, but then thought that you might like this to be part of the journal. It makes sense.
On the road again, I will shortly come to suicide point (inappropriately named, but still) which will allow me an opportunity to get a photo of this beach. Once I do, I will probably swap the image out and may well expand this post a little more, but this is what I have right at this moment and I wanted to connect with you right at this moment.
I am so thankful for you and that we are now “us.” You’re amazing. I love you more than I can express.
I bet you could not believe it when you saw the name of that cafe or did you google it in advance, haha.
Your writing is another really beautiful expression of your love, it’s humbling. Hand on heart, I am so grateful too.
I’m easy like a Sunday morning …. came to mind.
That feeling of joy, that smile that forms, that lightness that one feels, that heart expansion; that’s what I was referring to when I messaged you and asked “You know, do you get those days sometimes when you think about us and go …geeeez we’re so lucky!
And your priceless response “Every week for a few months. Every day recently.”
Please don’t swap the image out, but maybe you can put it at the end or partway if you wanted to add a bit more.
I suspect the immersion you have experienced in the last 48 hours may have contributed to your feeling of calm and happiness when you have again witnessed how it feels when life feels like a lemon.
Did you watch Yesterday again on the flight? We can add that to our list of films to watch together, and now you are assured of a seat beside me, although it is nice to be able to stretch out on two sofas, maybe that’s why peeps watch television in bed? Will we hold hands as we watch? Are you a hand-holder? So many walks we have had, and a conversation we never have.
I love we are “us”.
Sweeetfeet xxxxx
I’ve driven that road a few times previously, the last time just 2 days earlier, so I knew it was there. I thought it would be the perfect spot to stop.
Ditto! I thought of that song, too.
Yes, I didn’t mean I would get rid of it, just that I would move it from the head of the post. Even if I deleted it from the post, it would remain as the featured image, so would be the one you see in the list of posts. But if you prefer to have it remain in the post, that’s fine. I haven’t seen the other photos I took of the beach yet. They may not be worth using as the header image.
I thought that my feeling was more in the present, rather than responsive to Moya’s situation, but perhaps you are right.
No Yesterday. Not available. Very disappointed. Love to watch it with you. As I was watching it, there were places where I wondered what you thought when you watched it in the cinema and what we might have discussed had I accompanied you.
I am a hand-holder. Usually when walking and in the cinema, not so much on the couch. Prefer cuddles on the couch. You can have them if you behave.
I don’t find it surprising that we have never had that discussion. It is drifting very close to personal relationship behaviour territory. Had you raised the topic, I’m not sure how I would have felt. Probably uncomfortable. Wondering what it meant that you raised it. But I thought about it.
In the early days of me staying with you, I could have held your hand then and it would have just been a way of connecting with a friend. Later, when you were dating the bumbles, you spoke about holding hands with one of the dates and I realised that was a significant step for you, so I would never have attempted to do so from then on for that reason. Then, as my feelings for you developed, I daren’t hold hands as that would have threatened to release emotions I was trying hard to contain. Trying hard to deny, initially.
Ha! It’s the name of the beach “Ellis Beach”
Umm…no comment.
You’re just too clever!
Not sure the words are ideal ?
No, the words aren’t all completely relevant to me or us. However, it’s the title of the song that was brought to mind (for both of us) by my description of my state, rather than the lyrics. The music is so appropriate for the title, though. The chorus is fine. And since you’d raised the song, I thought I might as well add in in there. And it’s a great picture, if I do say so myself.
Absolutely a great pic!
Then, as my feelings for you developed, I daren’t hold hands as that would have threatened to release emotions I was trying hard to contain. Trying hard to deny, initially.
Fascinating- further revelations required, please.
I didn’t pick up on this, I suppose because you had been so insistent there would be no “relationship” for you.
I’ve addressed this in Holding Hands