Trust
Day 35Oh, What A Night.
A salient lesson
It started with a fairly innocuous text to you. You went from rest to warp speed in the blink of an eye. Scotty would want to know your power source.
I was like a kite in a hurricane. Your ability to turn things around is impressive. A salient lesson to never underestimate you.
The idea of reading ‘Bridgey’ to anyone would not have occurred to me. The idea of reading it as an introduction to you would, similarly, not have occurred. The idea of opening myself up to others besides you was ridiculous. The idea of reading it to others without having first read it myself would have been unthinkable. When suggested, it seemed like a bad idea.
You set me a serious challenge, for which I did not consider myself ready, but I read your words about looking in the mirror, read your challenging words. Then I decided I should trust you. I should trust your instinct, and I believed – still believe – that you would unerringly steer me towards thoughts or actions that are good for me. And you did.
“Prepare them”
Can I say, though, it didn’t help when I said that I was nervous, then that I was going to do it, that you said, “Wow,” followed by, “Really proud of you,” and, “Goodness gracious me.” I felt like you had dared me and didn’t believe I would rise to meet the dare. I just had to make a leap of faith. I felt like Daniel being cast into the lion’s den.
I wasn’t sure how I was going to “give them time to get ready. Prepare them.” How was I supposed to do that? I didn’t even know how to prepare myself.
Warp speed
A kite in a hurricane
A bad idea
Very impressed
They laughed
Anyway, I read it. They laughed a lot. I got really embarrassed a couple of times. Well, more than a couple, actually. They laughed at my embarrassment, but not in a nasty way. In a loving, familial way. They thought it was really nice. Dave made the comment that you had been “burnt” in the past. He gleaned this from your own comments. This is something I would do well to remember.
They were very impressed
I was embarrassed, as I say, but at the same time, I was proud. I’m not sure that pride is a useful feeling, but that’s what I felt when I read your comments and also when I showed them your picture and saw their reactions. They were very impressed. I don’t blame them. I have to pinch myself when I look at you. How lucky am I and what did I do to deserve you? I still can’t work that out.
I will have to take some time to absorb Bridgey properly before I respond, but I wanted to get my initial, raw thoughts down as soon as possible, before time has an opportunity to knock the rough edges off.
I didn’t know for sure that you would respond to the idea, I thought it was an excellent idea, it seemed, to me, to be a perfect opportunity to share something special about you and a unique way to introduce me to your siblings.
It didn’t seem to be happening naturally – you sharing this extraordinary development in your life. And an opportunity arose.
I know you are close but not sure just at what level with Dave, Bob and Jean so it may have been too confronting.
But you rose to the challenge and Wow – one of your most favourite words was poorly chosen but perfect for what I was thinking.
I was really impressed with you. But – hey- you fly planes – you can do anything.